sarahkeilman94:

I’m at the grocery store with my grandparents and my grandpa has wandered away and now my grandma is going up every isle yelling his name and im hiding behind a cookie display cuz i dont want anyone to know im with the crazy woman screaming dick at the top of her lungs

(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)

theodd1sout:

This will help you write good.

(via tastefullyoffensive)

animalstalkinginallcaps:

SEVEN YOUNG LADIES STAND BEFORE ME … BUT I ONLY HAVE SIX PHOTOS IN MY HANDS.
AND THESE PHOTOS … REPRESENT THE GIRLS … WHO ARE STILL IN THE RUNNING TOWARD BECOMING … AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL.
I’M KIDDING, OBVIOUSLY. NONE OF YOU ARE TALL ENOUGH FOR RUNWAY WORK, PLUS I DON’T HAVE HANDS. NOW GET OUT OF HERE AND GO PLAY IN THE YARD. I NEED TO TAKE A LITTLE NAP.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

SEVEN YOUNG LADIES STAND BEFORE ME … BUT I ONLY HAVE SIX PHOTOS IN MY HANDS.

AND THESE PHOTOS … REPRESENT THE GIRLS … WHO ARE STILL IN THE RUNNING TOWARD BECOMING … AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL.

I’M KIDDING, OBVIOUSLY. NONE OF YOU ARE TALL ENOUGH FOR RUNWAY WORK, PLUS I DON’T HAVE HANDS. NOW GET OUT OF HERE AND GO PLAY IN THE YARD. I NEED TO TAKE A LITTLE NAP.

jwunderbread:

wastetheday:

A lot covered in one book….

where have you been, jack douglas
what kind of things have you seen

jwunderbread:

wastetheday:

A lot covered in one book….

where have you been, jack douglas

what kind of things have you seen

(via bonafidehuman)

CUDDLE FUDDLE by DEDDY